Animals of Height
I've been tall since, well -- I can't remember when. I was taller than my second grade teacher, who would ask me to get chalk off the top of the board for her. I never fit into my sister's hand-me-downs, and to this day I rarely find pants that go to my ankles (capris weren't cool when I was growing up). And I was always some sort of tree in school plays.
My nicknames growing up were Jolly Green Giant, Big Bird, Stilts or Stretch. Whenever we had to pick an animal or write about a visit to the zoo, I gravitated toward the giraffe. Long neck and tall legs - made sense that we just naturally clicked. But then one my friends told me a story about an ostrich...
A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him. The
waitress asks them for their orders.
The man says, 'A hamburger, fries and a coke,' and turns to the ostrich,
'I'll have the same,' says the ostrich.
A short time later the waitress returns with the order 'That will be
$9.40 please,' and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the
exact change for payment.
The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, 'A
hamburger, fries and a coke.'
The ostrich says, 'I'll have the same.'
Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.
This becomes routine until the two enter again. 'The usual?' asks the
'No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a
salad,' says the man.
'Same,' says the ostrich.
Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, 'That will be $32.62.'
Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places
it on the table.
The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. 'Excuse me, sir.
How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket
'Well,' says the man, 'several years ago I was cleaning the attic and
found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two
wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I
would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would
always be there.'
'That's brilliant!' says the waitress. 'Most people would ask for a
million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich as you want
for as long as you live!'
'That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact
money is always there,' says the man.
The waitress asks, 'What's with the ostrich?'
The man sighs, pauses and answers, 'My second wish was for a tall chick
with a big butt and long legs who agrees with everything I say.'
... Yes, I just wrote a blog post to share this fantastic joke with everyone.